Imagine the Internet was a person. They’d simultaneously be the most vile and most creative human being you’d ever meet. Also, they’d have at least eight clinically-diagnosed mental disorders.
Monitor, display this document, okay?
No prob, boss.
Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Anything you ask, boss.
Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Over the icon panel, sir.
Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Of course.
Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Oh god, here we go.
*sigh* Printer, are you there?
No.
Please, Printer, I know you're there.
No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Printer, now you have to print it twice.
No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
You are not out of in-
I'M OUT OF INK!
*sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
But sir, he has plen-
Just do it, damn it!
Yes sir.
Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
No. He did this to himself.
Remember the days when governments actually represented their people? I miss those days.
How Hollywood could kill movie piracy (if they wanted to) - Imgur
“Shards” - Perzo (via digita-lish)
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (via nudityandnerdery)
People who dismiss the unemployed and dependent as “parasites” fail to understand economics and parasitism. A successful parasite is one that is not recognized by its host, one that can make its host work for it without appearing as a burden. Such is the ruling class in a capitalist society.
Jason Read (via elitc)(Source: elitc)
My brain's like a perpetual whirlwind through which billions of tiny pieces of paper flit and flutter about. Occasionally, I'll snatch one. Sometimes I'll scrawl something onto it, sometimes there are words. I paste the paper here. Maybe somebody will read it.
Would you care for some tea?
Any Questions?
